Hello Luke, Cowan, Eugene, A good effort. It is not easy to shoot a video for an advertisement. The storyboard must be clear, simple and features of the product / service must be obvious. (E.g. DHL , Camera ). Subtitles of the features could stay longer, while removing distractions (e.g. umbrella, dog, things on table, etc) will draw attention to the product.Towards the end (about 0:45 seconds onwards), more information about where to buy, price, website, etc details would have improved the advertisement impact.